It’s the truth. It’s a terrible scam by the devil to get you to enter hell by promising solutions for shoe organization and pretty laminate shelving. I wasn’t alone in my organizational hallucinations – Sunday morning, I entered hell with thousands and thousands of other lost, sweaty, over-sized souls only to find that once the appropriate product is found – it must be manually assembled. I don’t think so. A rarity among shopping experiences, that Shopper Susan will not repeat. I like my shopping free of hordes and my purchases pre-assembled . . . blame it on Nordstrom’s, but that’s the way I like it.
But, this is a blog about Runner Susan and shopping with the devil is the least of my concerns. I ended my first week of marathon training nine miles short. NINE! Why? I’m going to give you a list of excuses, after which, I expect a thorough beating from each and every one of you.
- My left knee is still giving me some problems and has decided to permanently quit working
- I had a lovely dinner with Michael Saturday night and drank too much wine
- In a sleepy stupor, I told Karrie I wasn’t running Sunday morning
- My mouth was a full-time garbage disposal
- It was sunny and warm and I wanted to play in the sun and ride bikes with Kenza
- Rowdy has decided that I must carry him everywhere he goes and he would have been too heavy for a long run
- My ovaries are engaging PMS as a full time occurrence – now known as CMS, continual menstrual syndrome
I have nothing but intentions of swiftness and endurance for the next 17 weeks of training, but still – a shameful start to my marathon training. Do I have any good excuses? No. Do I feel guilty? Yes, yes, yes I do.
But the devil made me do it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
I think the marathon training programme you’re doing assumes you’ve never run before. So if you have, doesn’t that entitle you to a first-week discount?
I think IKEA and riding bikes and carrying Rowdy should be worth at least 1 mile apiece, so you’re only short 6 miles. Piece ‘o cake for you … not literally!
Did u just call Michael the devil? :D..What did u get from IKEA??
Excuse one is pretty good enough to not run. Thank God I don’t have CMS..wooo…..
I am thankful I am a guy still! LOL
Sore knee is the thing that caused my attention. If your sore at this point in the training I would really keep icing it and stretching it. Try to run on soft trails (if possible) and by all means avoid concrete (read sidewalks). If you really plan on doing a marathon sticking to the schedule is critical and necessary to both finish it and finish it without injury.
I love wine myself, just keep it in check during the training!
Thank goodness I do not have CMS and the world is our toilet right before a race!
It’s early still…don’t worry about the missed mileage!
You should get one of those papooses to carry Rowdy in while you run!
I ended my second week of marathon training 7 miles short, so I’m feeling your pain today. But! It’s a new week, so we’ve got a second chance to do better, right?
Sorry, can’t blame this one on me, I was busy on the other side of the world. You might check with one of my minions though, Menstruphistopheles.
Thank god I am on the road to menopause, I guess. And I was all excited about stopping at IKEA in Phoenix on the way back from watching IM AZ…you just burst my bubble.
(Actually, I LIKE assembling knock down furniture…wierd, but true. Something about the challenge of fitting pieces together that are SUPPOSED to fit, but don’t quite..!??? Go figure!)
Agreed with Flatman here. It’s VERY early. My first week of marathon training sucked monkey balls, and I’m doing great now. 🙂 You will too!
let’s see, i ended week 4… oh about 12 miles short. 12 weeks to go to a marathon and my longest run thus far… 5 miles. yeah, this is going well. good luck with catching up on your training.
I think it would be hypocritical of me to shame you for being 9 miles short for the week when I ended up 16 miles short, but dammit Susan get your act together!
How was that?
You are not alone …. came in a little short for the week running AND went to Ikea.
We went in for a little box for toast-hater to keep earrings in … came out with 3 such little boxes, 2 picture frames, 2 wall hanging storage helmets that may have been stolen off the Star Wars set called “blimps”, two boxes (they call vessels) with little wheels for storing items under the bed, a krama face cloth and we redesigned and picked out a new kitchen!
Susan. All is lost. There is no hope. The nine lost miles will be the end of you. Alas.
I think IKEA exists solely so the Microsofties can say they built furniture…
Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn about IKEA. Now if you want to go shopping at Nordstroms I’m with you. I need some new shoes anyway.
As for that pitful excuse list for not running I am impressed; however, I will freely avail myself to call you at 530 every morning to wake you up for a run. How’d the rolly thing workout?
First and foremost, I’m glad there was some positive news about Rowdy. God, it seems like I suffer from CMS also. They should just remove that thing when you have your last kid. Anyway, you were right, blogger is sucking in a really big way. I can’t even get to my blog. Do not fret about the missed miles! You have a couple of marathons under your belt already. You’ll rock San Diego.
Blame it on Evil Susan. Saint Susan never had a chance!
Creative excuses Susan.
My advice is don’t obsess too much with weekly km targets and you won’t feel guilty. Just tick off the three important sessions (trying to improve them week by week):
1. A long slow run (time on your feet).
2. A medium length run at close to marathon goal pace.
3. A 10k pace session (long intervals or a tempo run).
Feel rightly guilty, ratty and sloth-like if you miss one of these sessions.
shopping anywhere is hell. ikea, container store, borders (although shopping there or B&N does have a laxative effect) and even nordstrom vander heevenhooven. i prefer my things to be hand delivered by people who understand me! see, my door prize to you would be a new bed for Rowdy, and some TimTams from Australia. …oh and a B.O.B. (and not Armstrong Dip).
My wife has absolutely no problems with flat pack furniture. She just tellls her husband to assemble it. What’s stopping you from doing the same?
Oh Susan — you’re perfectly fine. Those are completely acceptable excuses. Especially the too much wine. really though, if your knee is bothering you still, maybe you should try the elliptical machine for a few days.
Hey, How do you make those cool headers? I’ve been trying but can’t come up with ady as cool as yours. I saw one on another guys sight that you did. So cool.
I can still proudly say that I’ve never been to an IKEA in my life.
With all that wine you had at dinner, you probably would have had an awesome run. There’s something strangely odd about alcohol calories that seem to give a special boost. At least that’s been my experience. Maybe it’s that you feel so guilty about the previous night that you workout extra hard the day after to make up for it?
my sister had a panic attack once at ikea. i had no idea what was going on, but all of a sudden she stopped, was unable to catch her breath, turned white, and went running out the store. clausterphobia.
or too many unassembled parts.
CMS – – yikes
and i would say that too much wine is always a good enough excuse… but that might just be me and i might have a wine problem haha…
but 9 miles short just gives you goal for next week – its the same goal as this week maybe, but worded differently…keeps it exciting.
but i think those are valid excuses
PS i have to admit i love ikea and my apartment is pretty much all ikea. but i’m also a poor student and i can’t afford preassembled goodies!
i can’t tell anymore whether i just think the comments… or, i actually key them in… but i swore i already said:
The staff at Ligne Roset must be openly weeping.
Karlik4