It’s no secret – I obsess. A lot. Among many, my current obsessions lie in the realms of food, semi-colons, running, back fat, and Sid Dickens (who btw could use a little HRMS) – but often, the lines of obsession and reality are a little blurry for Runner Susan. So blurry in fact, that the lines of reality turn into big-fat-sharpie lines of exaggeration and create a lovely Runner Susan World. And as lovely as RSW is, I’m thinking the running goals I have set for myself may be more of an exaggeration than a reality.
My ultimate goal – To qualify for the Boston Marathon. When I was running high school track twenty years ago, it seemed like a simple goal. When I started running again two years ago it seemed like a simple goal that would produce magical results. If I could run a marathon my life would be full of vitality, health, fertility, happiness, love and pleasure. It’s nice to live in Runner Susan World.
Yes, I put in the miles. I run marathons. I am healthier than I have probably ever been. That’s dandy and all, but in order to qualify for Boston I need to shave one hour and fifteen minutes off my marathon time. Seriously, is this realistic?
I do love to run, but I question my motivation and dedication. Because my actions are not those of a runner who truly wants to qualify for Boston. I just don’t know if I have it in me to do what it takes to obtain this goal. I know I can put in the miles – but can I change my lifestyle? And more importantly, do I even want to? Honestly, who doesn’t want to eat cake or drink martinis? And yet this is something I’ve wanted for most of my life. I suppose I’m struggling with the reality of the challenge. I can do the work, I can make the sacrifices – but if I don’t want it enough, is it worth the effort?