Scary: Karrie, Niko, Cindy and I headed out for our usual 5am Sunday morning long run – which, by the way, was only long by 5 miles. It was bitterly cold, and as usual, I underdressed my bottom half. This isn’t out of any great desire to show off my bootylicious self – it’s just sheer stupidity. My legs were numb in the stinging wind, and I made my hands into fists inside my gloves to try to stay warm, which worked until they froze that way. And the only thing worse than having to pee while you are running is having to pee while running in the freezing cold.
Scarier: Aside from my issues with the weather, the run was uneventful until around mile 3 when we were nearly run off the road by someone who was apparently suffering a serious drug overdose, or had recently escaped from the local funny farm. And if running us off the road wasn’t enough, he felt it necessary to screech his breaks, slam the car into reverse, and chase us for half a mile. And while I admired his reverse driving skills, it takes a real ass to chase 3 females down a residential neighborhood at 5:30 in the morning. A few clicks of the phone later and Karrie had 2 police cars at our meeting point. While they weren’t able to locate crazy driver man, they said they’d police the area.
Scariest: And now, brace yourselves. I appear to have entered the world of baking. Kenza was thrilled by my sudden desire to make cookies since it’s not something I do often. Or ever. I don’t even own a cookie sheet, and was bemused by the amount of things required to make a simple cookie. And then there’s the butter – lots and lots and lots of butter. You might as well chunk it on the floor, dive into it, roll around and call me Paula Dean, because that’s how much butter is now in my body.
SuperPsychoScary: While the cookies were in the oven, we spent some time holiday decorating. In my house, this leads to all kinds of crazy things, like the creation of Paper Girl – who will defend the planet with snowflakes against the evil duo Scissor Boy and Fire Donkey while Runner Susan Girl slowly dies of butter poisoning in the corner.