Instant messaging gone awry:
RS: What should I blog about today?
Kate: How great I am
RS: How great you are?
Kate: Yeah, because you always blog about you
RS: But it’s my blog. A blog about me. Me and all my me. Me and my amazing breasts.
Kate: You don’t have breasts
RS: Yes I do, I’ve gained weight. It’s the only benefit, I have them and they are wonderful.
Kate: I deserve praising more than your breasts. Now go praise me.
Kate: How is the praising of Kate going? I see no praising of Kate yet. Praise me, damn you.
Why fight a battle you can’t win? So let’s move on to the greatness of Kateness:
- She loves cheese.
- She has Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder.
- She has really cute blue shoes.
- She alone holds the secret to the semi-colon; and uses her secret powers for good or when forced by Runner Susan.
- She doesn’t eat cute animals.
- She hosts very serious international sales meetings.
- She reads more books than anyone I know. And smart books too.
- She types fast.
- She draws great pictures of my internal organs and their dysfunctions.
- She has really fast growing hair.
- She listens to me talk about my wonderfully amorphic boobs and she’s still my friend.
- She’ll tell me amorphic isn’t a word.
- She has a secret blog that she won’t let me see (that’s not really great, but I want to rub it in)