Dear Tile Installers,
What the fucking hell is wrong with you people? I can’t quite comprehend what you’ve been doing for the past three weeks – eating peanuts, taking naps, discarding trash in the yard and pissing in discarded soda bottles. You’ve been doing many things, but it certainly hasn’t been installing tile.
It wasn’t that long ago that I was wide-eyed and eager for the brilliant array of sparkly ceramic and slate displayed through out my soon-to-be new bathrooms. The home that was supposed to close on July 27th, but now won’t because what was supposed to be a one-week job has now turned into three – and counting.
Do you not understand that you are paid by the piece and not by the hour? What is so hard to understand about that? You’ve delayed us more than this deluge of rain and I’m not quite sure how that is physically possible. A blind, one-armed 70-year old with severe arthritis has more speed than you.
I’ve tiled before. I know tile. I am one with the tile. But I have never shit in a toilet that was not connected to plumbing. Do you do this in your own home? Do you need someone to point out to you that you are filthy pigs – YOU know they are not connected to any water source that could wash this gift of crap down to the sewer lines (that also are not CONNECTED to the house yet)! So, tell me, to what do I owe this offering of odorous offal, these bounteous bestowal of bowel movements in the bowls, might I be so bold as to call them philanthropic pilings of poo in the pisser?
I suppose I should be grateful they aren’t dropping trou in the pool!
Sincerely,
Runner Susan
Oh suse. I am so sorry. I have been through this very horrific experience. (ours is a two story, so use your imagination…) Please know that it will all be worth it in the end. (a very long time from now.)
staying dry in your part of town these days?
that totally sucks.
(clearly, at least you still have your sense of humor. as sick as it is…)
Not only are they incompetent, they are shitty!
Shitty incompetence – the worst kind. Have you cinsidered firing them? How about suing them? I’d threaten both if it were me.
It’s just impossible to understand why some people do the things they do.
A little humor goes a long way in these situations, I hear.
Suz,
There just is no way to explain this “contractor” state of mind! I think it is just construction in general. It is sad but true that most of them just wait for the weekend so they can spend their pay on beer. They could care less about much else! Hang in there Suz! It will be beautiful when it is all finished. The last 10% is always the hardest part.
Oh my.
Geez, you must be mad Susan. I’ve never heard you use the ‘f’ word!
Nice alliteration though 🙂
Hi Katy (& Mark)!
Somebody is not happy and I do not blame her. If it were me I’d probably let the air out of their tires when they weren’t looking.
Hello “IDon’tMind” …. I know you’d never do what I have read above. I think it is a crime in our country. The punishment is to be stoned to death …. except they don’t use stones … they look like stones but are a lot softer and smell.
Perhaps we should “stone” these Tilers for Susan!
i dig that idontmindtoasts puts runnershoesan on a pedestal. i’m betting we could bring her to oz she could learn some brilliant expressions. she could rewrite the letter and use “sweet phuk all” in it. i like that one. and perhaps an “i don’t know why you can’t be arsed to finish the job” here and there. yes, runnershoesan is definitely one who could adopt arse.
i’d suggest you put a power laxative in some lemonade you fixed them, but clearly that would cost you in the end.
i was once doing my bidness on the throne when i looked up to see the painters looking through the window at me. ah yes. i am nothing if not hot when poopin in da pot.
(ewen rhymes with pooin’!)
Oh my gosh….
But, like cindylouwho says, it will be so beautiful when it is finished – and the toilets finally flush. You might want to make sure all that chocolate color in your bedroom is actually paint…
That is completely disgusting , I wish I could come down there and beat them up for you.
Proof that gene depletion is not just a theory – it’s a fact and it’s in high gear.
We must get more of the smart people to reproduce before it’s too late.
What is it about tilers? A job that should’ve taken at most a couple weeks at my house took many months. Thankfully it was a remodel so the toilets were already connected.
Did you know that some outrageous number of people (like 70%) who work on the construction of their own homes have nervous breakdowns??
Oh, ew….that is just gross..!!
Eww
I just love your blog 🙂
No no no Ms. Runner Susan. That’s not by accident.
That’s called “glazing”.
No no no Ms. Runner Susan. That time and effort is not by accident. That’s called “glazing”.