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Imaginary Person (IP): Hey Runner Susan! How’s the running going?
RS: Running, who me? Nahhhh, I don’t do that anymore. Running sucks. But thanks for asking.
IP: But you are Runner Susan? I thought you loved running. What happened?
RS: Running was a bitch and hacked off my left foot, and the severe pain I’m left with has taken all the joy out of running and turned it into an ungrateful pain in the ass. But that’s a long story and a post for another day.
IP: Sounds brutal. So how’s the rolling going?
RS: Great. Except my vagina is giving me grief again.
IP: But I thought you bought a really expensive vagina-friendly saddle to solve that problem?
RS: Indeed I did. But I’ve discovered the saddle is only vagina-friendly if you slather your hoo-hoo with Aquaphor. They forgot to put that on the packaging.
IP: I see. But that doesn’t explain why your hair is so unusually blonde in the video.
RS: I know, that’s a long story too – but briefly, I decided that having a red streak would be fun but instead it turned out looking like more of a tomato-red headband. Then it took nearly 4 hours of bleaching to make it look somewhat normal again. Now I glow. In a bad way.
IP: Well you are doing great in the video, but is there a reason you stop and take coffee breaks every five minutes or so?
RS: Why yes, I was out of breakfast wine.
IP: Understood.
RS: Also, if you notice I switch over to the hardest gear about 1:58 into the video and I’m working really hard even though I make it look effortless.
IP: You do make it look effortless, but why stay in the hard gear so long?
RS: I was bouncing a little too much, if you catch my drift. And in the harder gear I can go one-handed occasionally and don’t need to use my death grip. I’m talented like that.
IP: Gotcha. So who ya talking to towards the end of the video?
RS: Oh, that was my stud-boy, Rowdy, checking me out.
IP: Yeah, he is the studliest stud I’ve ever seen.
RS: I’m thinking of getting him a basket to put on the bike so he call roll with me.
IP: You are a genius. I think that is the smartest thing I’ve ever heard.
RS: I know – my brain is as gifted as my rolling.
IP: Nice talking to ya, and way to go getting into those drops at the end of the video.
RS: You too, and thanks, see ya around.
One Handed Roller from Runner Susan on Vimeo.
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes! Gotta check the video, but in general I would agree. I have to love when you say running is an “ungrateful pain in the ass”. Awesome.
Sorry about the soft part damage. Lots of options. you just have to experiment with what is right for you. Make sure your saddle is in the right position. It was low before and I can’t see the video to see whether or not you have raised it enough.
Like I said in the first one you have discovered that a lower cadence leads to more control (shifting into a higher gear).
I mentioned to a couple of guys on our team about you, fairly inexperienced, on rollers. You have set the challenge and set the bar high.
I’ve been finding your “rolling” thoroughly entertaining… 1st I’ve seen of such a thing (is it a better workout than a trainer??). I can’t believe how hard it looks! (&seriously, you drink coffee as you roll? nice!)
wow I picked a fantastic post to find your blog from someone else because that was hilarious for my friday afternoon! And also reasons as to why I don’t ride
Suz,
Very good indeed! Keep up the good work!
That’s what I call having your Cake and rolling with it, too! You are SO my hero for working out on rollers. I like the one handed stuff and I’m looking forward to the day when you can do this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wME5NTriTco
ps- your hoo-ha will get over it one of these days. Promise
You’re a closet roller coming out of the closet. Interesting, and with coffee. You may be funnier than you think. You score major points with this!
That’s why rolling is better – you can’t carry a cup of hot tea on a road ride.
Seat still looks a tad low to me. If a higher seat makes the stretch to the bars too much you could raise the head stem or try a longer one.
I still think your seat may be too low. Also, you need to relax…bend your elbows a bit and relax that grip!
The best part of the video is your lip-syncing… Very entertaining.
CyclistSusan.com
BTW…you are doing AWESOME.
Blonde, Bouncy and Bitchy! Just how I like em! I think it’s the rolling that might make you bitchy. Running is a much more soothing activity.
Your blog is like a reality TV show, quite entertaining.
“And in the harder gear I can go one-handed occasionally and don’t need to use my death grip”
tee hee hee.
and it’s your vulva that you’re smashing to bits. your vagina is just fine, i’m sure. vulva vulva vulva.
i still get nervous for you watching that. you seem confident, but i just stay nervous. it’s my inner chihuahua.
AWESOME!!! The bike is in my room!!! Now when you guys are out of town I can ride my butt off in the closet…I see much joy in my future!
damn, i wish i’d thought of this blog-about-conversation-with-imaginary-person-thing. awesome stuff as usual Susan.
sorry about the foot situation. i hear you. t’is my knee tho…