Internet People, thank you for your input on the Facebook situation. Everyone had valid points in one-way or another, and the information was very helpful.
We talked to Kenza last night. She knows what she did is wrong and she does feels really bad. But what she did was dishonest and there are consequences. I still say 13 means 13, but I’m not the only one making the decision. Being a part of a blended family can be complicated sometimes. Her dad thinks it is okay for her to have a Facebook account. Michael and I don’t. Her dad does agree, however, that it was wrong to lie about it. That means we all had to come up with a compromise.
Some may think this is too harsh, others too lenient, but we decided that we wait a month or so and if Kenza can control the sassy mouth she’s had lately, be respectful to her parents and show us she’s responsible enough to use it, I will open her a Facebook account, since I’m over 13. (Technically I’ll be the one lying, but hopefully she won’t know that.) We’ll do it together and talk about the privacy policies, what is appropriate and what is not, and we’ll talk about child predators. The amount of time she spends on the computer for social stuff is limited and she also has to friend all 4 of her parents. Another general agreement was there is no computer in her room. Until she is 42. I remind Kenza all the time that she is so lucky she has four parents who love her so much, and even though she’ll make a lot of mistakes that will never change.
Kenza is a really good kid, but I know this is just the beginning of many things that will happen, and I’m sure there will be worse. Kids do stupid things sometimes, there just isn’t any way around it. She’s going to make a lot of mistakes, I’m going to make a lot of mistakes and I’m certain she is going to do a lot of things I will never know about. I tell her all the time that if she makes a mistake and I hear about it from her first, it will always be better than if I hear it from another parent, a teacher, or heaven help me, a police officer. We’ll all live and learn.
I’ve never handled affairs of the heart very well. Last year Kenza begged me to have lunch with her everyday at school, and on the days I was able she would smile and wave uncontrollably when she spotted me walking down the hall to the lunchroom. This year every thing I do seems to embarrass her. We talked about that too and she really couldn’t come up with anything specific; the simple fact that I was her mother was embarrassing enough. Although, she did ask is it would be okay if she started calling me Mom instead of Mommy. My heart sunk a little, but I told her, yes, that would be okay.