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The past several weeks I’ve been tied up in our garden and reworking the landscape – including all the hardscape because we are having drainage issues which leads to mosquito issues. All. By. Myself. And by “myself” I mean I’m letting Michael help me on occasion. (That’s a whole other post coming soon.) I’ve had to make many, many trips to the stone and rock place that is just around the corner from us – loading up what stones I can lift and will fit in my SUV. I’ve lined all our flowerbeds with rocks to divert water and I am making flagstone patios and putting in French drains. Worship me because I am a Drainage Solving Goddess.
A few days ago I was at the stone place and saw a rock I liked. A rock a little bigger than would fit in my car, but by comparison to other stones there it was tiny. It was a lot cheaper and way cooler than the fancy bench I wanted to buy from Frontgate. It would be like having my own little Stonehenge next to my pool. I envisioned a cushion, a margarita and me getting a tan while enjoying the landscape I slaved over the past month. So I bought the rock and scheduled delivery. All 1800 pounds of it.
The rock showed up in the back of a 1960s Chevy pickup, with a crow bar and one old man about the size of a toothpick who planned on dumping it right next to the driveway.
The look on Michael’s face was priceless. And the only thing he said to me was “Next time you buy the world’s largest boulder, make sure you arrange delivery AND installation.” The old man in the pickup was very kind. We grabbed a friend and a few steel pipes and car jack later and we were in business. The skill at which this old man could maneuver, roll and balance an 1800 pound rock with a mere crowbar could rival the skill of any veteran yoga master.
I love my rock so much I want to marry it. And as soon as I power wash it and make sure it’s insect-free, I’m going lick it all over. Then I’m going to find a pillow and sleep on it in my sexiest pajamas.
I can’t wait to tell all my Christian neighbors it’s where I’m going to slaughter my goats. Because I’m nice like that. Okay, I have to go and finish the patio – I have three tons of decomposed granite outside calling my name.
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
You massive fruit loop!
Love the rock! Too cool!
The rock looks great. and threatening goat sacrifices to upset christians is a perfectly fabulous idea.
poor michael…
stonehengesusan.com
I’ve never said this before, but THAT. IS. AN. AMAZING. ROCK!
I love the picture of Michael. He does look so pleased
)
I have rock envy … or bench envy … just plain envy
Too funny about the Christian neighbors, good stuff. Rocks and hardscaping look awesome. Any more pics of the work, I am doing the same stuff in my landscaping.
’round here we would call that a rock slab cuz I think you can roll boulders. I get all my info from Wile E. Coyote.com. I do like the end result.
holy cow, that’s awesome. Delivery *and* installation — I’ll have to remember that if I’m every buying large slabs of rock. Which I’d like to, someday.
Your ROCK rocks!
When are you building the Pyramid?
Wow! What a rock!
It’s gorgeous. And I bet with all that heavy lifting you are developing “rock-hard” arms and abs. Am I right????
Looks great!!!
I hope your at least gonna BBQ the goat after you slaughter it…
That is so funny, Michael’s look really is great! I helped Mom and Dad (mostly Dad) move some rocks from the front of the property to by the house using a riding lawn mower, some chains and big round logs. WOW! That was NOT an easy thing to do…and it takes so LONG! I had to keep running around and repositioning logs because we only had about 5!!!
Hey, check out my video on Facebook of Thomas at his tae kwon do test.
“This is what I was asked to do – 18 inches. Right here, it’s specified, 18 inches. I was given this napkin.”
Installation – the devil’s in the details. I think it looks great.
Pic no 2 is priceless.
have you thought about the drainage for the blood? you’ll need to work on that before the sacrifices begin.
i’m a little disappointed that you didn’t haul that back with your bike. i know you have cycling skills.
Are you descended from the Incas? I think so – the big rocks, the clever way they fit together, the rolling them on pipe and the plans for blood sacrifice. It all adds up to Inca.
You are amazing – I may need to borrow you to redo my yard because I haven’t got a clue.
am i the first one to say it??? Can it possibly be that I’m the FIRST???!
Here ya go: You. Are. A. ROCKSTAR!