I’m sure I am the last person anyone would want to take seriously, especially after so many years blogging about my blistery marathon feet and fantastic date night martini sex with Chef. (Which, by the way, is way more fun than blogging about gas drilling.) It’s only been three months, but I can hardly remember my life before gas drilling consumed my every moment.  Since gas took over I have been a shattered shell of myself, trying to make my world go around by defending my property while I still maintain a sense of normalcy for my family. I don’t always succeed.

For months I have given you “Good Guys” the power to take away my happiness, my laughter, my sport and my joy for life. I have given you the power to take attention away from my daughter, my husband and the people who mean the most to me. You Good Guys are all greedy, egotistical, shallow and sick remnants of humanity and the pain you are inflicting on my family cannot be forgotten. It will hurt forever.

Your poison is near odorless, colorless and so hard to detect that most people choose not to believe your tainted ways – because believing would mean abandoning their homes and the livelihood they worked so hard to attain. Why would anyone want to believe this horror story? Sadly, they will all have to soon. Horror = Reality in Argyle and Bartonville.

On Monday I turned 40. FORTY – and instead of a party, fancy jewelry, or a bikini body – do you know what I asked for? Clean water, clean air and a non-radioactive Donkey boy. I had to settle for a few martinis, a bottle of Goldeneye Pinot Noir, and a new 800-foot zoom camera lens. (Now I can take closer and totally legal pictures of you dirty drilling bastards.) It’s the simple things in life that count.

The dishonest actions you Good Guys have chosen hurt many innocent people. When you Good Guy Drillers are exposed in Argyle and Bartonville, these towns will become the most scandalous Ghost Town extravaganza of stories ever documented in US history. We’ve reached the point of no return, because what you’ve done can’t be fixed – you cannot give back the water you’ve contaminated, the trees you’ve cut down, the ecosystem you’ve destroyed or the healthy children you are killing. And you know you are, because I recognize your shame.

I honestly hope you can find your own way in love, life and family and see what you are doing to our community. Because what you are doing is consciously killing us and I hope you can see this and stop it and help us – because I’d like to believe I have it in my heart to forgive the worst.

Sincerely,

Runner Susan

P.S. Thanks for the birthday bubble bath, but you can can turn it off now.

Well Water June 9, 2010 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

While Kenza is out and about vacationing in the Dominican Republic, we get to babysit for Fishy. Does this make us fish grandparents?

I feel so old.

It makes my heart sink a little – my baby is officially a teenager. The most perfect and beautiful teenager in the entire world. I don’t know a better way to celebrate than chocolate birthday cake (and texting) for breakfast! Happy Birthday, Baby Girl.

I’m so lucky that I get to be the mom to the best (soon-to-be) teenage daughter ever! Even if I do have to wear 5″ platform heels because she’s taller than me now. Sigh.

Kenza was in her first theatrical production last night – playing the role of Tree #2 in the Phoney Physician. She was fantastic. Sitting in the auditorium brought back so many memories of my days in school theater.

On Saturday my Chef and I loaded up the car and headed to Oklahoma. The plan: drive 3 hours, run 3 hours. And it happened just as so, and it was a spectacular 50-degree sunny day. If the weather turns out like this on race day, the Martini Twins are going to kick some serious marathon ass. We ran our 17 miles in 3 hours and 5 minutes – a perfect training pace for us. This is the most I’ve run in a long, long time and it made me really happy and really hungry.

After our spectacular run, our wonderful hosts, Michelle and Phillip, fixed us the most delicious meal, which I proceeded to inhale in approximately 2 seconds. Hey, I ran 17 miles, I was hungry. And I proceeded to be hungry for the next 3 days. I normally have tons of pictures from my Oklahoma trips, but this is the only one that wasn’t blurry from my shaky hands from running 17 miles. We took this on Sunday, the day after we ran 17 miles and then proceeded with 17 miles of retail therapy to recover from the 17 miles of running we did.

Did I mention that we ran 17 miles? I’m not normally a beer drinker, but I think that was the best beer I’ve ever had in my life. I needed those carbohydrates for all the shopping we were about to do. And, Internet People, you are going to be so proud: I bargained shopped. And, I got some fantastic deals – for some unknown reason my Chef keeps reminding me about some recession?!?

So, humor me while I’m in the mood to ramble.

Our first stop was at Tuesday Morning where I procured a Spiegelau wine decanter for $5.99 and another wine decanter for $16.99. Now I have a total of four wine decanters. Which is good, because they are so pretty and for some reason wine decanters don’t last very long in our house.  I also got a set of nested mixing bowls, which I need because since I’ve met Michelle, I’ve been inspired to cook stuff that tastes like real food. FYI – I’m still in training and have a long ways to go.

Our next stop was TJ Maxx where I got an adorable sofa throw and some salt scrub – I also had a really heated love-hate relationship with a gorgeous Steve Madden handbag that I reluctantly ended. I still haven’t recovered from that break-up. Then, we headed over to Ross where I found some really cute salad servers – and the most amazing thing happened as we were walking to the check out line – I found a salad serving dress. And for only $19.99. Is that not amazing? Because I totally did not own a salad serving dress of any way shape or form. Now I can toss salads with reckless abandon. I’m such a lucky girl.

(I feel a salad making picture going right here in the near future.)

I also ended up with a bread basket from Target, and a pepper grinder from a different Tuesday Morning. Do you see the trend in kitcheny stuff? I’m almost a full professional now – or, at least I look like one. I don’t think I spent much over $100, which makes the Chef me really happy. And all that after running 17 miles.

We headed back to Michelle’s house and had another better-than-gourmet meal, drank some good wine while we watched the Olympics with our husbands. Our husbands who bought us flowers for Valentine’s Day.  A lovely, lovely weekend.

I’m on my 6^th lesson with the master’s group and I am yet to be a master swimmer. I’ve belched so much chlorine I should be a pro by now. I still very much like air and I very much hate water in my face. There isn’t much more to say other than I just don’t like swimming and I’m infatuated with air. And to make sure there is no confusion with the other swimmers on the matter:

And no, I’m not modeling the suit, but you get the idea! We can’t have anyone mistaking me for a swimmer just because I’m in the pool.  The hot pink flowers add an extra special touch, I think.

So let’s move on to the cycling. I’ve been involuntarily nominated team manager of Michael’s new cycling team, North Texas Road Team – which has involved setting up the non-for-profit stuff, getting sponsorships, creating the logo, ordering the stickers and designing the outfits. Needless to say it is way more than I bargained for, so I ordered an honorary outfit for myself  – and this I will model for you (because I’m way cuter than anyone else on the team):

I will not, however, model the matching green spanky pants. My ass stretches the pants so much the color doesn’t even appear green anymore, just a pale minty. And the last thing I need is a minty-colored ass. I think someone warned me about the green, but I failed to listen. Maybe a summer tan and a little tinted lip-gloss will offset the minty color a bit?

Other than that, there has been some, but little, cycling for me. Runner Susan’s Cycling Motto: If it’s cold, windy, snowy, rainy or cloudy – don’t ride. I’m delicate that way and thus I become Stationary Susan.

So, let’s move on to Funner Susan. AKA: Social Susan. Let me set the stage: Last year Chef and I went to some friends for dinner and it just happened to be on the Winter Solstice. We had so much fun we decided to do it again this year, but host it at our house.  We’ll have RS’s Chef and our friend Nicole, who is also a REAL LIFE chef, doing most of the cooking.

It’s turned into a 10-course spanktacular extravaganza of food for four couples. I have been busily, busily, busily getting things ready – which involved a lot of me calling my mom and having her ship dishes and glasses. Believe it or not, not many of our dishes matched and for the 2^nd Annual Winter Solstice Celebration, call me picky, but I wanted all things to be matchy matchy and special! Who knows, I might learn to cook some day?

The Menu for the evening:

Appetizers and Apéritif
Kir Royales with assorted Dolmas and Exotic Olives

Herb Marinated Lamb meatballs
Muga Reserva 2005 Tempranillo, Rioja, Spain

Butternut Squash Soup Shots with a Cassoulet Spoon
Gewurztraminer,  2007, Columbia Valley, Washington

Palate Cleanser: Carbonated Kiwi and Pineapple Sorbet

Arugula and Watercress Salad with Quail Egg and Porcini Fusion Salt
Shibumi Knoll, 2005, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, California

Balsamic Roasted Pears

Creme Fresh and White Cheddar Mashed Potatoes

Spanish Matambre

Sweet Potato & Coconut Balls
Shibumi Knoll, 2005, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, California

Molten Chocolate Cake with Mint Foam and Carbonated Raspberries
Graham’s 20 Year Old Tawny Port from Portugal

Dulce de Leche Flan
Inniskillin Vidal, 2006 Canadian Ice Wine

Followed by Irish Coffees and Candy Cane Smores around the Fire Pit

Take a look at this fancy pants setting (thanks to RS’s mother):

And that is not even everything. We’re missing the soup slider shot glass.  And steak knifes. And I still need to get place mats and I think I’m missing a baby spoon for the palate cleanser. I didn’t even know they had baby spoons for adults. I don’t even know where to get them, but I’m hoping that by the time we get to the palate cleanser everyone will be tipsy enough to just pick up there bowls and start eating like dogs – because at this point, I’m totally okay with eating like dogs. I like dogs.  I have three. But how in the hell is all that times eight going to fit on one table.

The grocery shopping begins Friday morning. More on the party after this weekend, I’ll have photos of each process. Hopefully. I’m starting to chunk out the holiday season so if I can’t fit into anything cute, then the camera gets put away.

Okay now, onto the spectacular part. After a year’s hiatus from marathon running, I have decided to run the Okalahoma City Memorial Marathon in April, with fellow Martini Twin, Michelle. Which means, I got lots of training to do. And do I ever mean lots. Any and all advice is appreciated. You know me. You know all about me. Give it to me rough. Tell me the error of my ways and make me a faster runner. Pretty please and thank you.

Oh boy, am I ever tired. These past few months have been exhausting, I’ve missed you guys. Keep watching Internet People, coming up soon I’m giving away some awesome Triathlon wine charms and Running wine charms to the person who suggests the best training plan.

So much is going on in my life that sometimes I don’t feel in control of what’s going on around me. I’m needing a time out, I think.

But the most beautiful girl in the world is not taking a time out from growing. Kenza is already taller than me. How did that happen? When did this happen? Where did my baby go?

Next Tuesday I visit the physician once more to get some more results, and then I’ll post a proper “8-hour physical” post. So very interesting.

This past weekend flew by in a flurry, as have the past three days. Last Friday I flew to Indianapolis to help Sister Runner Amy and my brother pull together a surprise birthday party for my mom. The key her is surprise, since it’s hard to get my Mom out of the house and 75 people into the house without her noticing or someone accidentally spilling the beans.

There is a long story here, and SRA said it better on her blog, but my Dad and my Aunt Debbie had arranged an intricate plot to get my Mom out of the house for a few hours so we could get in and clean and decorate without her knowing. They did a fabulous job, all way down to my Aunt Debbie hiding from my mom at the casino when she ran out of money to keep her there longer.

When we walked into the house we saw that our mother had been planning for a garage sale so every room was full of piles of things to go to in that garage sale and I seriously had doubts about getting the place ready in time. But we did it – cleaned the house,set up tents, picked up the BBQ catering, arranged parking for 75 people, got everyone quietly in the backyard, got a craps birthday cake (Mom loves her dice) AND were able to surprise our Mother. I’m not sure how, but everything fell perfectly into place.

My mom was so surprised that she cried and cried and cried.  She hugged everyone and she cried some more. She was so chocked up that she had to go into the bedroom to pull her self together. We had friends and family there from across the country, people we hadn’t seen in years.  It was a party! And a treat for everyone.

My mom is usually the one the hosting the parties – friends, family or strangers always want to go to Grandma’s or Aunt Mary’s because she makes sure all have a good time. You want an ice cream cone for breakfast? You got it! How about cookies for lunch? You don’t like the turkey? Well, Grandma will just pull out a skillet and make you a special grilled cheese sandwich. Not enough pool toys? Well you better believe the next time you come over for a swim there will a dozen more toys in that pool. She can watch five grandkids and cook a meal for seventeen people without blinking an eye. My Mom goes out of her way for everyone, that’s just what she does.

Growing up I watched friends and family who went through rough times rely on my mother – and my mother would never let them down. If you were sick, she took care of you – if you needed money, she gave you what she had – if you needed a place to live and we had a spare room, you moved in. There was always a steady flow of people living with us as I was growing up – grandmas, aunts, cousins – we learned how to share young because our immediate family of five was many times a family of six, seven, eight or more.

My mom was a young mother, and I know very little about her life before she met my father when she was 19 – but I’m guessing since she won’t speak of it, she had it pretty tough growing up. As kids our life wasn’t so tough, we never had as much as many of our peers, but we never went without. My mom worked in a factory, often overtime and third shift, to make sure we had what we needed. I held a lot of resentment when I was younger because my mom wasn’t always able to attend my all of my school functions – and when she did attend those functions I was often embarrassed because she looked tired, was covered in grease and smelled like a welder.  I’m ashamed of those feelings now, but by no account could I have asked for a better mother. She provided me with a college education, and the values, morals and discipline to have the life I have now. And what a good life it is.

I could go on and on and on, but let’s get back to the party. It’s not often we are all together with our spouses and kids, it’s usually a combination of one or two of us, but we took advantage of the situation and pulled off a group picture. It was fast and furious and we’re not posing and we’re not all matchy matchy with our outfits, but we’re a good looking bunch, I think. My brother even smiled a bit and it didn’t cause his face to melt off. SRA uploaded the picture to Walgreens and we were able to get it developed and give it to my Mom before the end of the party.

The party was a total success and my mom is still talking about it, she can’t believe we were able to do what we did AND keep it a surprise. I can’t believe it either. My mother is a very wise woman and it’s not often we can pull the wool over her eyes – but this time we did – we pulled off an amazing party for an amazing woman.

I’m completely exhausted. I can’t believe I’ve gone this long without blogging. It’s not like me, but in the past 3 weeks I’ve been home about 3 minutes – so I am going to try and update you about my California vacation bit by bit. (Randomly and with many typos.) Not that you care, Internet People, but it’s my blog and this was the best vacation of my life.

San Francisco, I love you. Yes, I do. We were in San Francisco for the equivalent of the blink on an eye, but it’s beauty and blatantly open liberalness sings to me unlike any other city – and if it weren’t for my fear of massive earthquakes and collapsing bridges, I might live there.

I love practically everything about San Francisco – the cafes, the galleries, and the rows of shotgun style houses. I love the crucial part that the Asian culture, and many others, plays on San Francisco’s heritage. It’s like traveling the world just going around the block. The finality and beauty of a city that physically has nowhere else to grow is appealing to me. Although, the traffic that accompanies that is not so much to love.

But the unrivaled diversity is the thing I love most about San Francisco. Walking down the street and witnessing a gay and lesbian community fit in among the masses is so liberating. This is what community is supposed to be like and it’s unfortunate that Bush, AKA: World’s Worst President, in his greedy quest to rule the world turned his back on humanity and bashed in the skull of acceptance preventing the world from moving forward. (Okay, so that may not be entirely true, and I’m thinking that might be a run-on sentence, but it’s my blog and I’m going to say it anyway.) Everyone should visit San Francisco to get a crash course in gay culture.

Next stop, the Bardessono – greenest hotel in America and worth it’s own post.

My life has been a constant whirlwind for the past three weeks, nothing bad, just a lot of things involving the end of school, cycling trips and Sister Runner Amy and her kids visiting. And if I had to pick which was the most exhausting, keeping track of a 3 and 5 year-old wins hands down. I adore those kiddos, but give me a 40-mile bike ride any day. I’m old, so sue me.  But the visit was fun and was full of swimming, amusement parks, birthday party, all things pink, and kitties with a little projectile vomit on the side.

And when all those things were not in action, I involuntarily became an authority on Lego Star Wars people – since it was the main topic of conversation for 4 days straight. I’m not kidding. If Cole wasn’t holding his nose to jump in the pool, he was talking about Lego Star Wars people. And in case you were wondering, I want my Princess Leia to have a rainbow light saber.

What? No running you say. No. Sadly, SRA fell in the pool as she was rescuing Harper from a renegade turtle float incident and busted her ass pretty seriously. I didn’t see it personally – but I got the daily details on bruising progress. Which leads me to Juneathon. I agreed to do a Juneathon with the only requirements being to exercise everyday. And unless you count hanging swimming and chasing two little ones for four days, then I might just be disqualified. I’m not sure, but maybe if no one says anything I’ll be safe. So let’s keep it quiet and focus on the 24 miles I rode on this morning. Oh, and the swim lesson I had yesterday and tomorrow and the 30 mile ride I have coming up on Thursday.

Okay now, I know this is a jumbled mess. But I’m tired and I have that little fashion show I promised a while back. I got some awesome new things for my birthday and sadly I can’t wear them all at once, so I’ll see if I can make that fashion show happen tomorrow so I can at least try all the clothes on in the same day. But for now just enjoy the pictures of Sister Runner Amy and the kid’s visit and pretend you can’t see the typos and run-on sentences.

There is no denying it – we were the cutest Martini Twins on the course. Which of course means Michelle and I rode a lot faster than if we showed up completely uncute, because we all know speed is 80% cute, 15% bike, and 5% motor. That’s a little tip I picked up from BettyBetty, of course I think she might have had the priorities lined up a little differently, I just can’t recall quite accurately at the moment.

It was hilly, and a few of those hills were so steep I was only going 3 – 5 miles and hour up them because they were more like walls than hills. I felt like Spider Man in a Martini Jersey. But on the bright side, it’s good to know I can drive my bike that slow and still stay upright. I’m sure it’s a lesson I would have learned sooner or later, but all I have to say right now is THANK YOU ROLLERS.

Here we are being cute and adorable before the ride:

Here’s the cute Chef and I before the ride (he did the 100k on Saturday and the 50k on Sunday placing 2nd on both days – he’s bummed because he still only has 30% vision in his left eye from his lasik/bike crash injury and can’t see well enough to race the crits):

And here’s the Martini Twins making a stop on the way home from the ride:

We rode past this building and felt obligated to stop in for a martini. But since we didn’t know the secret knock and realized that the building didn’t have any windows, we hopped on our bikes and drove back to our hotel as fast as possible.

Here we are in true Martini Twins form back at the hotel – Daisy’s butt added for extra cuteness (in case you were wondering, dogs like to lick salty legs):

Then later that night we put on our party dresses and took the hubbands out for a nice dinner. It just so happens that we went shopping the weekend before and bought several of the exact same dresses (fashion show coming soon).

We even walked Daisy cute:

Then after we got home I dressed Donkey up in Michael’s Tulsa Tough shirt – he was quite handsome, I must say.

Team Martini tied for 41st place out of 288 and finished in 2:07 – I think that is around 15.5 mph. Not bad for no hill training or even hardly training at all. It was a fun weekend and the Martini Twins are already planning their next run, ride and possibly tri. Except that whole swimming thing is freaking me out a bit.

I love it when Kenza wears her high-top, multi-colored Converse with shorts and dances around the house with her iPod singing Weird Al songs at the top of her lungs.

It seems like only yesterday it was bubble baths, pigtails and pink cowgirl boots. I couldn’t ask for a more spectacular and perfect daughter. Today, the most beautiful girl in the world is twelve and it’s all about socializing, Barbie-ques and thinking it’s hysterical to refuse getting a birthday picture taken. The time goes by so fast. And some of those times go by faster than others.

First chair on the left is where all the world class trombone players sit.

I love the track. I love speed work. I love that I can get a fantastic workout in and it doesn’t take five hours. And the track loves me back by utilizing my genetically gifted super fast twitch muscles. You know, those muscles those Boston Marathoners don’t have many of but I have lots of. I’m not getting new legs any time soon so I better sam hell learn to love what I got.

Today was 800m warm up, 2000m at a 7:56 pace (I rock), 800m medium pace, 1600m at another sub-8 minute pace (rock again), and then a 400m cool down right as the rain rolled in. Perfect timing for sprinkles.

I’m just all about the love today. I’m especially loving this: I received an email from the race director of the half marathon that I bailed on because of the rain and it said the race was canceled due to flooding – and the entrants get FREE entry into the September Half they are putting on. How awesome is that? Love it.

I even shared the love with my dear friend, Jeanne. I love Jeanne. I think I’m going to add a “Ask Runner Susan” button to my blog because my love has no bounty.

And with that love in mind, I’m going to share a blond joke with you. Kenza is all about the blond jokes right now. She especially thinks it’s funny because she’s blond and smart. She thinks it’s even funnier to tell them to other blonds. Like her mother.

A blond girl gets off the school bus and was so excited when she got home to tell her mom what they learned at school. “Mommy, Mommy, guess what? We learned to count today and I could count to 15 and all the other girls could only count to 10. Is it because I’m blond, Mommy?” And the mother replies, “Yes Dear, it’s because you are blond.”

The next day the blond girl gets off the school bus and was equally excited. “Mommy, Mommy, guess what? We learned the alphabet today and I could say the letters all the way to L and the other girls only learned to G. Is it because I’m blond, Mommy?” And the mother replies, “Yes Dear, it’s because you are blond.”

The third day the blond girl gets off the school bus and was excited once again. “Mommy, Mommy, guess what? We had our very first swim lesson today and I was the only girl with breasts and the other girls didn’t have any at all. Is it because I’m blond, Mommy? And the mother replies, “No Dear, it’s because you are 25.”

The things kids hear at school. I’m sure worse is to come. Now, I’ve got to see about getting some time in on the rollers. The Chef’s HHH plan is calling my name and it’s still raining. I have a feeling the rollers might spoil the love thing I got going on.