I’m on my 6^th lesson with the master’s group and I am yet to be a master swimmer. I’ve belched so much chlorine I should be a pro by now. I still very much like air and I very much hate water in my face. There isn’t much more to say other than I just don’t like swimming and I’m infatuated with air. And to make sure there is no confusion with the other swimmers on the matter:

And no, I’m not modeling the suit, but you get the idea! We can’t have anyone mistaking me for a swimmer just because I’m in the pool.  The hot pink flowers add an extra special touch, I think.

So let’s move on to the cycling. I’ve been involuntarily nominated team manager of Michael’s new cycling team, North Texas Road Team – which has involved setting up the non-for-profit stuff, getting sponsorships, creating the logo, ordering the stickers and designing the outfits. Needless to say it is way more than I bargained for, so I ordered an honorary outfit for myself  – and this I will model for you (because I’m way cuter than anyone else on the team):

I will not, however, model the matching green spanky pants. My ass stretches the pants so much the color doesn’t even appear green anymore, just a pale minty. And the last thing I need is a minty-colored ass. I think someone warned me about the green, but I failed to listen. Maybe a summer tan and a little tinted lip-gloss will offset the minty color a bit?

Other than that, there has been some, but little, cycling for me. Runner Susan’s Cycling Motto: If it’s cold, windy, snowy, rainy or cloudy – don’t ride. I’m delicate that way and thus I become Stationary Susan.

So, let’s move on to Funner Susan. AKA: Social Susan. Let me set the stage: Last year Chef and I went to some friends for dinner and it just happened to be on the Winter Solstice. We had so much fun we decided to do it again this year, but host it at our house.  We’ll have RS’s Chef and our friend Nicole, who is also a REAL LIFE chef, doing most of the cooking.

It’s turned into a 10-course spanktacular extravaganza of food for four couples. I have been busily, busily, busily getting things ready – which involved a lot of me calling my mom and having her ship dishes and glasses. Believe it or not, not many of our dishes matched and for the 2^nd Annual Winter Solstice Celebration, call me picky, but I wanted all things to be matchy matchy and special! Who knows, I might learn to cook some day?

The Menu for the evening:

Appetizers and Apéritif
Kir Royales with assorted Dolmas and Exotic Olives

Herb Marinated Lamb meatballs
Muga Reserva 2005 Tempranillo, Rioja, Spain

Butternut Squash Soup Shots with a Cassoulet Spoon
Gewurztraminer,  2007, Columbia Valley, Washington

Palate Cleanser: Carbonated Kiwi and Pineapple Sorbet

Arugula and Watercress Salad with Quail Egg and Porcini Fusion Salt
Shibumi Knoll, 2005, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, California

Balsamic Roasted Pears

Creme Fresh and White Cheddar Mashed Potatoes

Spanish Matambre

Sweet Potato & Coconut Balls
Shibumi Knoll, 2005, Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, California

Molten Chocolate Cake with Mint Foam and Carbonated Raspberries
Graham’s 20 Year Old Tawny Port from Portugal

Dulce de Leche Flan
Inniskillin Vidal, 2006 Canadian Ice Wine

Followed by Irish Coffees and Candy Cane Smores around the Fire Pit

Take a look at this fancy pants setting (thanks to RS’s mother):

And that is not even everything. We’re missing the soup slider shot glass.  And steak knifes. And I still need to get place mats and I think I’m missing a baby spoon for the palate cleanser. I didn’t even know they had baby spoons for adults. I don’t even know where to get them, but I’m hoping that by the time we get to the palate cleanser everyone will be tipsy enough to just pick up there bowls and start eating like dogs – because at this point, I’m totally okay with eating like dogs. I like dogs.  I have three. But how in the hell is all that times eight going to fit on one table.

The grocery shopping begins Friday morning. More on the party after this weekend, I’ll have photos of each process. Hopefully. I’m starting to chunk out the holiday season so if I can’t fit into anything cute, then the camera gets put away.

Okay now, onto the spectacular part. After a year’s hiatus from marathon running, I have decided to run the Okalahoma City Memorial Marathon in April, with fellow Martini Twin, Michelle. Which means, I got lots of training to do. And do I ever mean lots. Any and all advice is appreciated. You know me. You know all about me. Give it to me rough. Tell me the error of my ways and make me a faster runner. Pretty please and thank you.

Oh boy, am I ever tired. These past few months have been exhausting, I’ve missed you guys. Keep watching Internet People, coming up soon I’m giving away some awesome Triathlon wine charms and Running wine charms to the person who suggests the best training plan.

My good friend and Martini Twin, Michelle Gretchen, had her annual Halloween party at her salon, Wilson Art, Friday. It’s a party that lasts all day and if you don’t come in costume, you’ll get eaten by a Troll. The Halloween party is famous in Oklahoma City, and this year I was lucky enough to spend the day at the salon party helping out. The salon was the busiest ever, although I’m sure it had nothing to do with the FREE BEER the Beer Twins were giving away. It was a laborious day, as Gretchen and Stella had to be in character for over 9 hours. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. We were so convincing people were drinking beer left and right.

The costumes the stylists wore were fabulous and the decorations festive:

After a full day at the salon, the cutest Troll in the world, Kim, had her annual Halloween party. The first thing we had to do was get the boys in costume. Presto Chango and Bubblicious and White Goodman were ready to party! The party was a blast, but I have to admit the best part of the day was watching Bubblicious and White go into the 7 Eleven to get some Bubblicious. We watched from the car and Bubblicious was petted by some patrons. I think they had a crush on him. The costumes were creative and the day was a blast – and I was much in need of a really fun day.  I think it was around 11:30 PM I realized I wasn’t 21 anymore – but it sure was fun pretending.

Today’s the last day to vote for my new masthead, so if you haven’t voted see below!

You might have better things to do than watch my snow globe inflate, but it’s the Monday after a holiday, so be a little spirited. And yes, I am easily amused.

I’d like to dedicate this movie to all candy canes awaiting garbage pickup this morning.

snow globe inflation from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

• We just put up lights on the outside of the house and the lights are so big and gaudy it looks like a giant neon Mothra dropped a load of eggs on our rooftop. It’s fabulous.
• The six-foot tall Rudolph snow globe sits directly along the path leading to our front door lined with foil candy canes – although the candy canes have seen better days and I’m out of duct tape. Rudolph’s head is also not inflating and he looks kind of decapitated.
• Not everyone in my neighborhood shares my affinity for gaudy and tasteless Christmas décor.
• I think there is a rule somewhere that declares putting up outdoor lights and decorations with spouse could possibly result in divorce or serious bodily harm.
• I am slightly contemplating signing up for the Flying Pig marathon in May – but I’m still somewhat traumatized by my Chicago marathon experience.

Michael and I cooked for friends this Thanksgiving. And when I say we cooked, I mean Michael. I made dessert, hors d’oeuvres and served as cocktail waitress; I slice some mean cheese and make an excellent tequila cosmo. All had a good time, I believe. However, I have a serious case of food hangover this morning.

Taken by my friend Cindy!

Yes, I know, I have NaPoBloMo failed you . . . blame it on the travel, cooking, gorging, pooping and my current stationary status, the last of which is also due to the first three mentioned items.

I cooked real food this holiday, with my real oven, all the way from scratch, it took all day, and people ate it and nobody got sick. I consider that a success. Those two cooking lessons are paying off. Maybe I should take a few more. A few more that do not teach me to make things like this wonderfully tasty brownie cake. With two sticks of butter. And a cup of heavy whipping cream. But I used splenda instead of sugar. I don’t know why I can’t lose weight.

Although, as a side note, free-range turkeys are not as tasty the ones pumped full of chemicals. Next year, chemical pumping will be a requirement when turkey purchasing.

Anyhow, back to that stationary status thing. It is ending tomorrow when I will run 15 miles in the dark. Cold. And freezing rain. I am so dedicated I amaze myself. I have a half marathon coming up on December 9th and I must be ready, I don’t want to waste the NY marathon mojo I’ve been touting about.