I may have gone a little crazy with the hooks, but something had to be done with the handbags. So hooks all over the world was the solution. If you have a better solution for the March 2010 Closet Reorg, I’ll be happy take suggestions. I’ve even made room for new spring shoes & bags, because I’m nice like that. I’ve also decided that I’m WAY under fashionable and I need to step it up a bit – but in a reasonable I’m not going to break the bank so the Chef won’t yell at me too much sort of way  . . .

Now, I have some packing to do 10 miles to run in my spanky new shoes. Official shoe of the NTRT! Don’t they look super-fast?!?

Coming up soon is the Runner Susan official Should I Stay or Should I Go Shoe, Bag and Clothing Fest!

The long runs training for the Oklahoma City Marathon have been getting loooongerer, 19 miles this week, 21 miles next week, then 23, etc . . . you guys have been there, you know the drill.  So, last Saturday the Martini Twins© had 19-miles to run. And what a better way to run 19-miles than sandwich a half-marathon between two 3-mile runs. Saying it that way sounds like three much shorter runs – and anytime you sandwich something it just makes it funny, I’m a 13-year-old boy like that.

Months ago Michelle and I registered for the Fort Worth Cowtown Half Marathon and we worked it into our training schedule. Since we’ve started this marathon training we’ve ate, hydrated and rested like we are training for a marathon. With special emphasis on hydrated – my pee has been a lovely shade of clear for weeks.  We have been the picture perfect epitome of training.

Friday night we were in bed by 9 PM. We woke at 4:45 AM, drank some coffee, ate some our chia infested oatmeal, dressed and were on the road. We arrived at the interstate off ramp in downtown Fort Worth at 6:25 AM – over an hour early for the half. We stayed on that off ramp not moving for nearly three hours. And I have no clue why – we were so early. Runners were abandoning their cars on the off-ramp bridge and running to the start line. Really. My Candy Car was not getting left on a ramp, so we entertained ourselves the best we could; face-booked our ridiculous status, we car danced, took pictures and made videos for as long as two girls trapped in a car for 3 hours and hydrated to run 19-miles could. For your car-dancing pleasure:

Cowtown Traffic from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

By the time we actually parked the car and got to the start line, the half course was being taken down. Bye, bye sandwiched half marathon.

Car-fatigued, frustrated and hungry, since it was almost lunch time at this point, we decided to make the best of the situation – we needed to run, it was a gorgeous day and we were right next to the Trinity Trail – a beautiful place to run along the river. We knew we couldn’t do the distance with the water or fuel we had on hand, so our plan was to run as far as we could and enjoy the beautiful day. See, here we are enjoying the beautiful day in our hot pink and hot peach matchy, matchy outfits:

For about 4 miles there wasn’t a soul in sight and then our trail merged into another trail and we saw runners. Lots of runners. So many runners we thought we might be dreaming. Runners with bibs and chips. We got closer and noticed ULTRA on the bib. ULTRA? I didn’t know they were running an Ultra-marathon as an event for Cowtown. Oh well, we decided to follow the Ultra course for a bit and head back to the car, and at this point if we could get ten miles run, we’d be good.

We chug along, and then before we knew it these hippy-looking, water-vested and often barefooted ultra distance runners were giving our cute, neon-dressed selves a “great job, girls” and thumbs up all over the place. I look down and we still have our timing chips on. These insanely happy ultra runners think we are a part of the ultra-marathon. I turn to Michelle and say “let’s just finish the Ultra”. We had a brief discussion about whether these runners are insanely happy or just insane. We had no clue at that point how long it would be to the finish, but decided we didn’t care, we liked the happy runners and we kept going.

So it wasn’t really “our” mile 29, but we were having 29 miles of fun.

We weren’t expecting to get coronated with medals and t-shirts as we crossed the finish line, but then again, we never received our half shirts or medals. By the time we finished the entire day was just comical. We ended up running at least 14 miles and Gallowaying another 4-5 miles. A perfectly unexpected day of training.

We topped off our weekend by doing out best to dehydrate ourselves with good wine and stuff ourselves silly with shopping and good food. One of the best girl weekends I’ve ever had. Who other than the Martini Twins could miss a half-marathon, crash an ultra-marathon and finish with a marathon medal?

In preparations for the upcoming visit of the infamous Ms. Not Born to Run and Nod, I decided I better actually run and have some fun. And who else better to practice those skills with than my funner, runner and wine sipper friend/Martini Twin, Michelle! Saturday, we ran 13 miles in the rain – and in the rain, I created my new # 2 motto: If you gonna run, run fun!*  It’s hard to argue with that kind of brilliance. (Well, unless you’re at mile 17 of a marathon and your quads are on fire, but I totally plan to change that this year.)

We petted zebras and kissed horses and finished in 2 hours and 17 minutes (we won’t mention anything about the auto pause feature on our Gamins during our petting zoo break) and beat our virtual partner by 2 minutes!

We finished soaking wet and with smiles on our faces.

I’m ready for you now, Jeanne! And so is Rowdy.

*# 1 motto: Fun lasts longer than fast.

Hello Internet People, I promised more blog and so I must provide; even if it is boring, I am a woman of my word. (How’s that for fancy? Two commas and a semicolon. Although I have no clue if they are correct.)

This past weekend my friends Marta and Milka came to town for a visit, which is always fun – but it’s especially fun when Marta inspires you to get off your ass and run – and so we ran a whole 7 miles – in the really, really, really cold weather. But not as really, really cold as it has been. I have a half marathon in less than two weeks and I’m only up to seven miles. (Don’t tell Jeanne!)

On that first 7 mile run in I count how many days, I was also able to try out my new kicks, a pair of Nike Free’s I ordered off eBay. They felt very strange on the first run – but I bet I need more than one run to get a final verdict – so, I guess I should get to it and start moving.  But so far, way better than the Newtons.

Onto swimming. It is improving – with emphasis on the ING. I’m still the slowest in the C (read: last and slowest) group, but my form is getting better – or so the instructor says. I can now successfully swim 10 lengths of the pool without stopping or drowning. It’s the small miracles we are thankful for, IPs. The small ones.

Today, I must get a run in. I must. I missed swim yesterday because of my sinus infection, but I’m feeling a little better today and the temperature is in the 50s, so I need to get out before the rain sets in for a steady 3-day downpour.

Not much else going on, but this is more than 140 characters, so I think I’m meeting the quota.

Yesterday six and today eight. Isn’t that fourteen in two days?  Am I a runner?

And really, although I was  enormously slightly slow, I didn’t feel the need to walk.

Hmmmm, what is up with that? Maybe I’m just nostalgic.

Am going to ponder much.

Night, All.

Garmina Sr. died over a year ago; I’m not sure what took me so long to order another. I’m in love again. So you knew this was coming. I felt great until about mile 4 and then I started to lose speed – 4 AM is getting earlier and earlier.

In other news, I went to make the bed after my run and was surprised to find this:

I have no clue what it is. I’m thinking baby bunny, but it has no fur and it’s eyes weren’t even open yet. I’m pretty sure (hoping) one of the dogs brought it to bed with them during the middle of the night. Probably Rowdy since the Aussies would have just thought it were a midnight snack. And despite the one tooth puncture, it was still alive. I put it back outside (other side of fence) to see if it’s mom would come back and get it, but to no avail – sadly, it’s dead now. Any guesses as to what it is?

(working on the preventive med post now, I promise)

I’m excited about my run today. I finished my 12 miles in 1:58 and I didn’t melt. Of course it helped that I had Marsha along to pace me. That lady is a running fool! There is no stopping her, I honestly think she could run to the moon and back and never change pace. The  new Mizunos held up pretty good too, my left foot metatarsal gave me the regular aches and pains, but I can’t complain too much. Anyhow, woo hoo. Twelve miles over and done before 7AM.

Now, I’m going to jump in the pool and take the dogs for a walk before it’s 4 billion degrees outside.

Two amazing things happened today. One, for the first time in nearly two years, Cindy and I were able to get track video footage during the DAYLIGHT hours. A miracle, I know. The other amazing thing, is finally, since before Runner Susan’s Great Chicago Marathon Meltdown, I’ve become excited about running. And it’s about dang time.

It’s odd how things happen so randomly. I met Cindy and her friend Doug at the track to run bleachers and do a little speed work and we met an amazing lady, Marsha, who has run 39 marathons and qualified for Boston 10 times. That alone is pretty spectacular, but when you factor in she is 65 years young and is still vibrantly passionate about running marathons, it is completely inspiring. Earlier this year she ran a 2-hour half. She even joined us for a few of 100s on the track. I hope to run with her a few days a week and learn a few things. She is a rock star for sure.

A few things to note before watching these fabulously daylight videos:

• It’s been a long time since I’ve done a good track workout, but you’ll get to watch my progress now that summer is here and we can video during daylight hours.
• It was 95 freaking degrees outside (35C) and the heat was sucking the life out of me – I am so not ready for the heat. Why do I live in Texas?
• We are running about 80% intensity – most were 17 seconds and some change, a few 18 plus. AKA: slower than slow.
• In a few videos I’m wearing my Asics and in a few I’m wearing the Newtons. Sue me, they are so pretty and pink and I wanted to give the Newtons another try. I am considering them as Runner Susan’s official track shoe. You should send them a note and tell them how much faster my feet look. I’m indecisive on the whole shoe issue right now as Kenza has lost in the black hole that is her bedroom misplaced my current pair of running shoes.
• We did bleachers immediately before and during the track workout, not that you care – but I was tired. And hot. And stinking hot some more. And a little hormonal. And hot.
• Cindy’s friend Doug is really fast and he wouldn’t slow down to make me look good. That was not very nice of him. Note to self: next week tie Doug’s shoe laces together when he isn’t looking.
• And finally, these videos are not pretty – there is plenty of junk in my trunk (and front) – that’s just the way it is – so get over it and move on – it’s obvious I haven’t lifted weights for a few months. Note to self: Don’t be a loser.
• In case you didn’t catch the 4am Track Torture in the dark videos, you can see them here and here. You won’t be disappointed, it takes talent to do what we do.

I know you’ve missed Cindy’s sweet commentary, so without further ado: Track Torture you can actually see!

Untitled from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Track 3 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Track 2 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Track 1 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Track 5 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Untitled from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Sunday I rode 15 miles at a 15 mph pace.

Monday I rode 16.25 at a 15.48 mph pace

Tuesday was track torture day.

Today I ran with the fast people for 3 miles and kept up (mostly) and finished in 26:49 and later rode 15.13 miles at a 14.41 pace.

I’m not sure why this week has been so fast – especially since I’ve put on 4 pounds this week. Work harder, eat less, gain weight. Oh well, I reckon I shouldn’t complain because I’m really happy with my times.

I love the track. I love speed work. I love that I can get a fantastic workout in and it doesn’t take five hours. And the track loves me back by utilizing my genetically gifted super fast twitch muscles. You know, those muscles those Boston Marathoners don’t have many of but I have lots of. I’m not getting new legs any time soon so I better sam hell learn to love what I got.

Today was 800m warm up, 2000m at a 7:56 pace (I rock), 800m medium pace, 1600m at another sub-8 minute pace (rock again), and then a 400m cool down right as the rain rolled in. Perfect timing for sprinkles.

I’m just all about the love today. I’m especially loving this: I received an email from the race director of the half marathon that I bailed on because of the rain and it said the race was canceled due to flooding – and the entrants get FREE entry into the September Half they are putting on. How awesome is that? Love it.

I even shared the love with my dear friend, Jeanne. I love Jeanne. I think I’m going to add a “Ask Runner Susan” button to my blog because my love has no bounty.

And with that love in mind, I’m going to share a blond joke with you. Kenza is all about the blond jokes right now. She especially thinks it’s funny because she’s blond and smart. She thinks it’s even funnier to tell them to other blonds. Like her mother.

A blond girl gets off the school bus and was so excited when she got home to tell her mom what they learned at school. “Mommy, Mommy, guess what? We learned to count today and I could count to 15 and all the other girls could only count to 10. Is it because I’m blond, Mommy?” And the mother replies, “Yes Dear, it’s because you are blond.”

The next day the blond girl gets off the school bus and was equally excited. “Mommy, Mommy, guess what? We learned the alphabet today and I could say the letters all the way to L and the other girls only learned to G. Is it because I’m blond, Mommy?” And the mother replies, “Yes Dear, it’s because you are blond.”

The third day the blond girl gets off the school bus and was excited once again. “Mommy, Mommy, guess what? We had our very first swim lesson today and I was the only girl with breasts and the other girls didn’t have any at all. Is it because I’m blond, Mommy? And the mother replies, “No Dear, it’s because you are 25.”

The things kids hear at school. I’m sure worse is to come. Now, I’ve got to see about getting some time in on the rollers. The Chef’s HHH plan is calling my name and it’s still raining. I have a feeling the rollers might spoil the love thing I got going on.

WARNING: This post does not make much sense because I spend a lot of time talking to myself.

I had so much fun last weekend running the half marathon, I’m itching to do another. Of course, I don’t think I could run too many during Girls Weekend; I’d break down sooner or later. Hopefully later. Anyhow, there is a local half this weekend and I’m trying to decide if I should run it or not. It’s a smaller race but VERY hilly, which would be good training, but the hills would be tough. I’m not a good hill climber on my feet or with my bike, so maybe it would be good for me. But then again, I’m not about hills. You see my dilemma.

Half marathons are probably my favorite race distance (at the moment) – and if I ever took it somewhat seriously, I might even get faster. But what is our lesson here? Faster does not mean Funner.* Okay, back to the point, why am I even bringing this up? Because, (and this is where the runners need not freak out – I’ll explain why in a minute) I promised the Chef I would ride the Hotter N Hell Hundred in August. And in order to finish this race I’m going to have to start the training plan he’s put together for me soon – and he has a long ride on the schedule for Sunday – half marathon day. I’m not one with the bike yet, but I REALLY need to start thinking about getting one with the bike – or I might just be dead on the bike. I haven’t made a decision yet, but I think I might run this half marathon and then start the HHH training on Monday. Sound fair?  I think so.

Okay, so let explain why Runner Susan is still Runner Susan and not Rider Susan. Because as soon as HHH is over, my plan is to start training for another race – maybe even a marathon. I’m thinking Houston in January of 2010. Nothing is set in stone, because I need to do some shorter races too, because I have yet to prove to myself that I actually have fast twitch muscle fibers that can do some damage in a shorter race. Now, I just need to figure out if I’m Type IIa or Type IIb. This is where you can tell I’m rambling because I’ve had 3 cups of espresso. And yeah, I know I should spell check, but I’m too wound up to take the time to do anything productive.

Right here is where I was going to talk about how we helped the local vet save the neighbors goat, Vinny. Seriously – it was dark, the owners were out of town, and the goat was on the ground with its eyes rolled back and barely moaning – near death I tell ya. I held the mouth bit while the Chef held the horns so the vet could shove a tube down his throat and relieve him. But then I decided it really didn’t really make sense in the context of all this running and riding stuff so I left it out. But in case you are wondering, Vinny is alive and well because of our goat-saving kindness.

So, Internet People, what do you think? Am I crazy? Delusional beyond caffeine? Does this post make any sense at all?

*Yes, I know funner is only a word in Australia, but I think it’s kind of fun to throw in foreign words every now and then – makes me smarter than I look . . . and goes along with all the run-on sentences, superfluous commas and unnecessary explanation points!

But I really don’t feel I have anything post-worthy to post. So the randomness will pursue once again:

• On Monday I ran 1 x 800, 4 x 400, 1 x 200, 4 x 100 and 1 x 800. My first 400 was 1.36, but I’m not sure what my other times were because my watch got stuck on NO OCCN. The others, I can guarantee you were not 1.36. Maybe 1:50s. I don’t know what NO OCCN is. But last week my 6 yo Timex died so I went back to Target and got the EXACT same model but all the buttons are in the wrong place. And now everything is wrong. WHY would they do that to me? Why?
• On Tuesday I bought my last 23 bags of mulch and I finished mulching. We used 233 bags of mulch. That’s a lot of mulch. I reckon I didn’t figure that into the plan when I made the world’s largest flower beds around my house.
• The vineyard is going slow. We need soil sample and well water sample results before we can move on. We have a person from the parks and recreation department coming to consult with us next week.
• Today I am finishing a stone walkway and then, if the weather allows, I am riding with my friends Zoe and Lisa at 1. Cindy, you should come ride with us too, I’ll call you in a bit.
• I have been to every nursery and cannot find bamboo or a giant Buddha for my zen garden. I find plenty of skinny Buddhas, but the fat one is so much cuter. Heading into Dallas tomorrow to see if I can find one.
• Saturday I am running 11 miles with T. Then the next Saturday, I am running the OK Half. It will not be a PR, that I can pretty much guarantee.
• I’ve found a pair of shoes I REALLY love. Really. I’m not kidding. I love them and want to make them mine.
• I’m angry they are canceling Gardening by the Yard on HGTV. I have a secret crush on Paul James just like I did the old Alton Brown, (you know, the food science Alton Brown – I’m not crazy about the new Iron Chef Alton). It’s really the only REAL gardening show out there. Okay, so I watch the Victory Garden, but it moves slower than slow sometimes.
• Sister Runner Amy’s son, Cole, NEEDS a kitty. Yet, he is denied one. What’s the world coming to when a boy can’t have a kitty of his own?
• Finally, my teeth hurt. I need to get back to the dentist to get the temporary stuff off. I’ve put it off because we are in-between health insurance companies right now. But I’m guessing I should get this taken care of because the only thing worse than dental work is emergency dental work.

That’s about it my lovely Internet People. Hopefully I’ll have some juicy stuff to post soon.

The run this morning was good. Nice and slow – 10.75 miles in 1:55. I’m not breaking any records, but it was good to get it over with early. 45 degrees, quiet, no wind and running while the sun comes up. Perfect.

Nothing exciting to report, except our neighbor’s zebra was out. I don’t know why they have a zebra, but I like him. I grabbed a pic with my phone. Kinda blurry and not much light, but still you can tell it’s a zebra. Like you really care, but pretend for me.

But 5.3 at a decent pace of 9.56 minutes per mile. I was surprised at my pace because it’s been a while since I’ve run because I’ve been obsessively working in the garden. I guess yard work is good for maintaining endurance. You know what else it’s good for? Weight loss.

I’ve been trying so hard to get under 130 pounds for years. Years, I say. No luck. In December I even topped over 140. Honestly, kind of way over 140. Shut it. I’ve run upteen marathons, have been lifting weights and watching what I eat. Yet nothing. Nothing has worked. Not a thing. I’m a freak.  But give me a shovel and a sledge hammer and set me loose in the garden for 12 hours a day and I end up at 128. Who knew it would take 3 weeks of digging and rock breaking? I’m exhausted but I’m so stoked that I’m volunteering myself for slave landscaping labor so I don’t gain it back. Because the second I even think about training for a marathon I’ll gain ten pounds. I’m sick like that.

Oh well, the running workouts have resumed. I have a trail run scheduled for Thursday afternoon and an 11-12 mile run scheduled for Saturday morning. Go me, I’m just determined to gain that weight back. But maybe I’ll just start on the vineyard AND run at the same time. Just maybe that would work. And some leg torture. I kind of miss the videos.

I am so tired right now, I have no desire to even get out of my office chair to brush my teeth and go to bed.

Monday I went to the track and it was very windy, I was very tired and my back was messed up from all the stone work we did in the yard.  But, I did show up and my mile sucked: 8:20, I believe. We did 800s, 400s, 200s and 100s after that and I was still slower than my normal slow.

I fully intend on a repeat timed mile once my back is in better shape. I know full well I can do under 8:00. I just know it.

So here is my “tan in a tube” arm against my white belly after one application. Not a huge difference, but I’m going to add another layer to the arms and legs and begin Operation Midriff Tan as well, today. So far so good. No streaking when riding or running and I’m not orange. The Tan in a Tube has a little glitter in it that washes away, but it’s kind of fun while it lasts. I like to sparkle.

Things are so exciting around here I can hardly stand it.

Oh, but I did run 9 miles this morning. My longest run in a long while. Go me. I have a two hour ride tomorrow and a one mile timed run on Monday morning. I’m a little nervous about the one mile run because it will determine what my speedwork plan is going to look like over the next few months. I have never done a one mile timed run so I have no clue even how to approach it. Right now my plan is to run as fast as I can for as long as I can . . . but I’m open to suggestions.

Six miles today. 1:05:32. And felt FABULOUS. I’m so slow, but determined. I’m also the palest runner in the world. I’m fish belly white. I’m the whitest white girl on the white block. Why is it that pasty white fat appears fatter than tan fat? I guess fat follows the same basic black principles of the fashion industry. Someone tell my fat it needs a little black dress, please! And how do you do that? Easy.

I’m rewarding my fat with a healthy tan because 1) I’m a loser and 2) I’m old and I need to be better to my skin. Years of basking in the rays have taken their toll in the appearance of not so pretty fine line and wrinkles. Getting old is so fun.

I’m a wee bit nervous I’ll turn into a bleeding pumpking. I’ll keep you posted.

My weekend was so action packed I don’t even know where to begin. I think I’ll do this backwards and start with today. I met a small group at the track and I did some sprint work: 6 x 400s, the first I ran in 99 seconds, which was medium fast for me. But no, no, no – I need to sprint the pace I eventually want to run, which meant I needed to run between 2:05 and 2:10s. (shut it, 8:30 miles are fast for me)

It’s hard for me not to run fast on the track with short distances because it is the only place in the entire world where I’m usually NOT LAST at running. That doesn’t happen very often and not that I mind it, but sometimes it’s nice to not come in last. But since slowing down the sprints will help me in the long haul, I was a good girl and finished the remaining 400s between 2:00 and 2:08. Perfect. Then we did a few laps to cool down, but before we finished I heard someone make a joke about me smelling like cabernet sauvignon. That made me laugh, but I wasn’t surprised. Let the detox begin.

Because this was the rest of my weekend . . .

Drink wine. Watch bike race. Drink wine. Repeat for three days.

We had a great weekend. We had some local bike races around here so a few of Michael’s teammates from out-of-town stayed at our house. It was a fast and furious weekend for all, but it was complete with a lot of good food, good wine, and great camaraderie.

Cyclists are a unique breed. Over the years I’ve noticed most share many of the same characteristics as Michael: they can’t sit still, are obsessed with the Weather Channel, own over 500 million bikes with at least 3 of every part for each bike, and they can all watch the Tour de France on the trainer over and over and over. And. Not. Get. Bored. I’m not sure if that’s fairly impressive or just insane. We’ll go with insane just to be safe.

One of the wives came too, which was fun because (1) we took a wine and cheese basket with us and tailgated the race while we watched the guys and (2) she was a runner and I had someone to run/socialize with on Saturday and Sunday. (In fact – plug for all runners here – I only ran and lifted last week and I haven’t been on a bike in over a week. Run, Susan, run.)

But back to the bike races because I made an astute observation:

• The men cyclists all look the same: thin and muscular.
• The women cyclists came in all shapes and sizes: from lean and thin to round and muscular, to those who look like they seriously need to back off the steroids.

That bites because I wanna be thin and muscular too and it only only gives credence to Michael’s Man Diet of “I’ll eat a 10 ounce instead of a 12 ounce steak every night” and lose 10 pounds in 2 days. I like steak, that’s just not fair. Although, there were 3 women of varying shapes who kept up with the guys during the crit and seriously kicked some ass. So, go women – kick man butt.

What’s up with the women and men racing together? Do they do that often?

Okay, now back to running. I’ve got a half marathon to get ready for and I need to get back in shape . . . so let the running begin. 4 days a week of running. 2 days of weight lifting and 2 days of easy cycling.

And Internet People, let me answer before you start: NO I am not planning on a triathlon. I am merely cycling to burn more calories and as cross-training because my ankles, feet and tendons hate me.

Now I need to get busy, because I have a wine review or twenty to write.