Two amazing things happened today. One, for the first time in nearly two years, Cindy and I were able to get track video footage during the DAYLIGHT hours. A miracle, I know. The other amazing thing, is finally, since before Runner Susan’s Great Chicago Marathon Meltdown, I’ve become excited about running. And it’s about dang time.

It’s odd how things happen so randomly. I met Cindy and her friend Doug at the track to run bleachers and do a little speed work and we met an amazing lady, Marsha, who has run 39 marathons and qualified for Boston 10 times. That alone is pretty spectacular, but when you factor in she is 65 years young and is still vibrantly passionate about running marathons, it is completely inspiring. Earlier this year she ran a 2-hour half. She even joined us for a few of 100s on the track. I hope to run with her a few days a week and learn a few things. She is a rock star for sure.

A few things to note before watching these fabulously daylight videos:

• It’s been a long time since I’ve done a good track workout, but you’ll get to watch my progress now that summer is here and we can video during daylight hours.
• It was 95 freaking degrees outside (35C) and the heat was sucking the life out of me – I am so not ready for the heat. Why do I live in Texas?
• We are running about 80% intensity – most were 17 seconds and some change, a few 18 plus. AKA: slower than slow.
• In a few videos I’m wearing my Asics and in a few I’m wearing the Newtons. Sue me, they are so pretty and pink and I wanted to give the Newtons another try. I am considering them as Runner Susan’s official track shoe. You should send them a note and tell them how much faster my feet look. I’m indecisive on the whole shoe issue right now as Kenza has lost in the black hole that is her bedroom misplaced my current pair of running shoes.
• We did bleachers immediately before and during the track workout, not that you care – but I was tired. And hot. And stinking hot some more. And a little hormonal. And hot.
• Cindy’s friend Doug is really fast and he wouldn’t slow down to make me look good. That was not very nice of him. Note to self: next week tie Doug’s shoe laces together when he isn’t looking.
• And finally, these videos are not pretty – there is plenty of junk in my trunk (and front) – that’s just the way it is – so get over it and move on – it’s obvious I haven’t lifted weights for a few months. Note to self: Don’t be a loser.
• In case you didn’t catch the 4am Track Torture in the dark videos, you can see them here and here. You won’t be disappointed, it takes talent to do what we do.

I know you’ve missed Cindy’s sweet commentary, so without further ado: Track Torture you can actually see!

Untitled from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Track 3 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Track 2 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Track 1 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Track 5 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Untitled from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Sunday I rode 15 miles at a 15 mph pace.

Monday I rode 16.25 at a 15.48 mph pace

Tuesday was track torture day.

Today I ran with the fast people for 3 miles and kept up (mostly) and finished in 26:49 and later rode 15.13 miles at a 14.41 pace.

I’m not sure why this week has been so fast – especially since I’ve put on 4 pounds this week. Work harder, eat less, gain weight. Oh well, I reckon I shouldn’t complain because I’m really happy with my times.

I love the track. I love speed work. I love that I can get a fantastic workout in and it doesn’t take five hours. And the track loves me back by utilizing my genetically gifted super fast twitch muscles. You know, those muscles those Boston Marathoners don’t have many of but I have lots of. I’m not getting new legs any time soon so I better sam hell learn to love what I got.

Today was 800m warm up, 2000m at a 7:56 pace (I rock), 800m medium pace, 1600m at another sub-8 minute pace (rock again), and then a 400m cool down right as the rain rolled in. Perfect timing for sprinkles.

I’m just all about the love today. I’m especially loving this: I received an email from the race director of the half marathon that I bailed on because of the rain and it said the race was canceled due to flooding – and the entrants get FREE entry into the September Half they are putting on. How awesome is that? Love it.

I even shared the love with my dear friend, Jeanne. I love Jeanne. I think I’m going to add a “Ask Runner Susan” button to my blog because my love has no bounty.

And with that love in mind, I’m going to share a blond joke with you. Kenza is all about the blond jokes right now. She especially thinks it’s funny because she’s blond and smart. She thinks it’s even funnier to tell them to other blonds. Like her mother.

A blond girl gets off the school bus and was so excited when she got home to tell her mom what they learned at school. “Mommy, Mommy, guess what? We learned to count today and I could count to 15 and all the other girls could only count to 10. Is it because I’m blond, Mommy?” And the mother replies, “Yes Dear, it’s because you are blond.”

The next day the blond girl gets off the school bus and was equally excited. “Mommy, Mommy, guess what? We learned the alphabet today and I could say the letters all the way to L and the other girls only learned to G. Is it because I’m blond, Mommy?” And the mother replies, “Yes Dear, it’s because you are blond.”

The third day the blond girl gets off the school bus and was excited once again. “Mommy, Mommy, guess what? We had our very first swim lesson today and I was the only girl with breasts and the other girls didn’t have any at all. Is it because I’m blond, Mommy? And the mother replies, “No Dear, it’s because you are 25.”

The things kids hear at school. I’m sure worse is to come. Now, I’ve got to see about getting some time in on the rollers. The Chef’s HHH plan is calling my name and it’s still raining. I have a feeling the rollers might spoil the love thing I got going on.

So here is my “tan in a tube” arm against my white belly after one application. Not a huge difference, but I’m going to add another layer to the arms and legs and begin Operation Midriff Tan as well, today. So far so good. No streaking when riding or running and I’m not orange. The Tan in a Tube has a little glitter in it that washes away, but it’s kind of fun while it lasts. I like to sparkle.

Things are so exciting around here I can hardly stand it.

Oh, but I did run 9 miles this morning. My longest run in a long while. Go me. I have a two hour ride tomorrow and a one mile timed run on Monday morning. I’m a little nervous about the one mile run because it will determine what my speedwork plan is going to look like over the next few months. I have never done a one mile timed run so I have no clue even how to approach it. Right now my plan is to run as fast as I can for as long as I can . . . but I’m open to suggestions.

My weekend was so action packed I don’t even know where to begin. I think I’ll do this backwards and start with today. I met a small group at the track and I did some sprint work: 6 x 400s, the first I ran in 99 seconds, which was medium fast for me. But no, no, no – I need to sprint the pace I eventually want to run, which meant I needed to run between 2:05 and 2:10s. (shut it, 8:30 miles are fast for me)

It’s hard for me not to run fast on the track with short distances because it is the only place in the entire world where I’m usually NOT LAST at running. That doesn’t happen very often and not that I mind it, but sometimes it’s nice to not come in last. But since slowing down the sprints will help me in the long haul, I was a good girl and finished the remaining 400s between 2:00 and 2:08. Perfect. Then we did a few laps to cool down, but before we finished I heard someone make a joke about me smelling like cabernet sauvignon. That made me laugh, but I wasn’t surprised. Let the detox begin.

Because this was the rest of my weekend . . .

Drink wine. Watch bike race. Drink wine. Repeat for three days.

We had a great weekend. We had some local bike races around here so a few of Michael’s teammates from out-of-town stayed at our house. It was a fast and furious weekend for all, but it was complete with a lot of good food, good wine, and great camaraderie.

Cyclists are a unique breed. Over the years I’ve noticed most share many of the same characteristics as Michael: they can’t sit still, are obsessed with the Weather Channel, own over 500 million bikes with at least 3 of every part for each bike, and they can all watch the Tour de France on the trainer over and over and over. And. Not. Get. Bored. I’m not sure if that’s fairly impressive or just insane. We’ll go with insane just to be safe.

One of the wives came too, which was fun because (1) we took a wine and cheese basket with us and tailgated the race while we watched the guys and (2) she was a runner and I had someone to run/socialize with on Saturday and Sunday. (In fact – plug for all runners here – I only ran and lifted last week and I haven’t been on a bike in over a week. Run, Susan, run.)

But back to the bike races because I made an astute observation:

• The men cyclists all look the same: thin and muscular.
• The women cyclists came in all shapes and sizes: from lean and thin to round and muscular, to those who look like they seriously need to back off the steroids.

That bites because I wanna be thin and muscular too and it only only gives credence to Michael’s Man Diet of “I’ll eat a 10 ounce instead of a 12 ounce steak every night” and lose 10 pounds in 2 days. I like steak, that’s just not fair. Although, there were 3 women of varying shapes who kept up with the guys during the crit and seriously kicked some ass. So, go women – kick man butt.

What’s up with the women and men racing together? Do they do that often?

Okay, now back to running. I’ve got a half marathon to get ready for and I need to get back in shape . . . so let the running begin. 4 days a week of running. 2 days of weight lifting and 2 days of easy cycling.

And Internet People, let me answer before you start: NO I am not planning on a triathlon. I am merely cycling to burn more calories and as cross-training because my ankles, feet and tendons hate me.

Now I need to get busy, because I have a wine review or twenty to write.

5:15 AM

We started off with a quarter mile warm-up and 4 repeat warm-ups of 100′s jogging, high knees, butt kicks.

Next was a few easy 100s – I’d say about ¾ speed, then some not so easy squat hop 100s. It’s hard to explain what a squat hop is, but is sucks and by the time you get to 20, your quads and ass are burning like an out-of-control forest fire.

1 – 19.2
2 – 19.4
3 – 19.7
4 – 19.1
5 – 20.1
6 – 5 squat hops with sprint out 100
7 – 10 squat hops with sprint out 100
8 – 15 squat hops with sprint out 100
9 – 20 squat hops with sprint out 100
10 – 19.6

Sure, it sounds easy enough, but my quads were trashed after the squat hop workout. My goal is a melon butt – cantaloupe, not watermelon. Squats are good for that.

A few hours later Cindy and I did an hour of hill training on the bike. Now, I almost have quads of steel and an ass that is screaming for mercy. Also, if inquiring minds want to know, my last two rides have not involved any 0 mph crashes. I’m either lucky or getting the hang of this riding thing. Although the traffic still scares the crap out of me. And so do the straightjacket pedals.

I have this feeling that tomorrow I’m going be hurting. In that good way.

Today Cindy and I opted to do track torture during the daylight hours so we could get some halfway decent pictures. Although, when we arrived at the track, we were abruptly greeted by a policewoman letting us know the track was not available during school hours.  It’s understandable because we do look pretty stealthy and scary! We might be overly cheerful and hurt some kid’s feelings. An imaginary kid at that, because there were no kids on the track. And the heifer stayed around to make sure that we didn’t step foot on the track.

Being the law abiding citizens we are, 200s were out of the picture today. Instead we marked off a little over a 100 meters at the park 20 feet away from the track. Whatever! The 100?m splits went like this: #1 – 18 sec, #2 – 19 sec, #3 – 19 sec, #4 – 20 sec, #6 – 20 sec, #7 – 19 sec, #8 – 21 sec, #9 – 21 sec.  Not bad, and it felt so easy. I like 100s too.

After lap #9 the police heifer drove off, so we walked the whole 20 feet over to the track so I could get a true measure of what my official 100m time would be. #10 – 14.56 seconds. I guess breaking the law makes you run really fast.

Slow was the name of the game today. I couldn’t make myself go any faster or do any more. 10 x 200s was all I had in me.

So instead of talking about my stealthy, but unspeedy self, I’d like to show you how the professionals keep track of their laps (Fuck the 1:01):

Pretty fancy pants, eh? We had a watch malfunction on #3, in case you didn’t notice.

And this, this is how the professionals mark the track so they can see the hash marks when it’s pitch black outside. Genius, no?

Please, no need to thank me, I’m just doing my part to spread the love. And here is what a tired and slow Runner Susan looks like at 5AM:

I know you all are going to be heartbroken because we don’t have any alien video footage this week. Instead, we opted for the good old-fashioned camera. Although, I really need to have a talk with the sun gods to see if we can get a little light at 5 AM. Once again, there’s plenty of junk in my trunk – get over it and move on.

This morning I ran 15 200s with 100m walk recovery. My goal was to not go too fast and keep them all around 50 seconds or less, per Ewen’s guidance. I did pretty good keeping with that, but I really feel like I could put a little more umph into it and go faster. The shorter recovery did make it a little harder towards the end. I am loving this workout! Click on a picture to enlarge it.

#1 – 44      #8 – 47
#2 – 45      #9 – 52
#3 – 49      #10 – 49
#4 – 48      #11 – 49
#5 – 48      #12 – 55 ?
#6 – 47      #13 – 50
#7 – 50      #14 – 49
#15 – 49

Okay Internet People, I know you don’t have anything better to do than watch me run around a track in the dark. So for your viewing pleasure we decided to get really high tech with some fancy pants special effects videography. Either that or we’ve just sunk to an all time low. You can decide.

Today’s torture was inspired by sweet Ewen, who suggested my physiology might do better with slower 200s. And let me state for the record, he was right. I am officially in love 200s. Especially 200s in 65-degree weather. I could run 200s all day long. Everyday. Forever and ever. And never stop. I wanted to do 20 or 25 but I needed to get the little one off to school.

So my new finish-in-way-under-5-hours-marathon plan is to sprint 200 and walk 200. All the way. What do you think? And don’t tell David, I’m going to surprise him with our new plan in Chicago.

1 – 44
2 – 45
3 – 47
4 – 44
5 – 45
6 – 46
7 – 50
8 – 44
9 – 45
10 – 46 (had to pee)
11 – 50 (had to pee)
12 – 53 (had to pee really, really bad)
13 – 50 (okay, I had to stop and pee after this one)
14 – 46
15 – 41 – go me!

Track Torture #2 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that yesterday I ran close to 7 miles with Massoman at a 10:29 pace. Slow going out, but super speedy coming in.

Oh, oh, I lost a blinky light during the little yelp.

We used today’s workout to do some ladders to just get the feel of how things were going to go. And let me start off by saying, I hate the track. I have a hard time believing that during my high school years I was a sprinter and I could run a 400m dash in around a minute.

Twice as old, twice as slow.

½ mile warm up – 6:00
100 – :21
100 – :20
200 – :41
200 – :42
400 – 1:57
400 – 1:51
800 – 4:11
800 – 4:19
Cool down – ¼ mile – walking

How many of these 800m dashes do I have to do before I get faster? Because they are nasty and I’m thinking 2 is plenty. I’m good with the 100m and 200m. Why can’t I only do those?

We tried to video this, but it was just too dark, so pretend it’s an audio clip. Here is the first 400 and parts of the second 800. Cindy’s commentary just cracks me up. Her sweet voice just makes me so happy.

Track Torture #1 from Runner Susan on Vimeo.